It helps to have professional support from some one who has experienced separation and divorce with their own children.

Keeping hearts open of vulnerable children and families during this process, is well worth the investment.




Selections from The Manual of Divorce,
by Neal H. Brodsky

I wrote these poems one by one tracing the year in which my own divorce was completed.  You, the reader will find a familiar cast – a wife, a husband, two young children, lawyers and lovers, therapists and friends.

My intention in publishing these poems together as “The Manual of Divorce” is to create an opening for what is possible when we observe and honor the occurrences of life as guides for our own growth.  Amid the many things that happen in divorce is an opportunity to re-invent oneself and re-connect with your children.

We create and populate our world with perceptions of heroes and villains.  All the while, the still small voice within speaks softly to us of love.

WHAT TO DO WITH KIDS  (For Ann Barringer Spaeth)

 

Take  your  kids

to

the  best

bookstore  you  can  find

the  one

(you  know)

with  at  least  one   table

in  the  back

 

where  you  can

read   to  them

the

stories

you  want  to  tell

as  many  as  you  can

till

you  feel  you’re

gonna

burst  from

fatigue  and  joy

of  sharing

words

 

Cook

pasta

for

them

with

or  without

sauce

which  you  can  feed

to  visiting

cats  and  dogs.

 

Pet  these  cats  and  dogs

after  checking  for  rabies

and  other  communicable

pesky  stuff.

 

and

   
Make
great
crazy   mixes   of 
things   including   but   not   limited   to
cinnamonnutmegoreganosugar
honeyoatmealplaydough
andenoughwaterfromthetaptobond.


Peer  into  the   darkness  of
the  old
cardboard  raisin  tin
which  holds
all  
then   carefully

place  the  top  back  on

but  only  after
you’ve  cut  wholes
enough
for  all  this
to  breathe  and
grow.

Leave  your   mix  for  minimum
two  days
and  forget.

Only  remembering  when  the  smell
wakes  you  in  the  night.

Pour  this  potion  of  love
into  the  toilet
and  after  stirring
to  keep  the  pipes  clear
flush
your
magic
down
into  the  river  of
wishes  and  dreams.

~~~

MINUTES

 

“Stop  the  minutes”

says  three  year  old  Jason

watching  the  clock  on  my  wall

countdown  to  the  time  he

must  leave  me.

 

They  call  this  visitation

It  is  not.

 

It  is  child  holding

father’s  face

in  his  hands

gulping  a  last  bowl  of  cereal

car  running  in  the  driveway

mama  on   the  speaker  phone

late

late

running  late

running  scared

running  out

running  now.

 

Stop  the  minutes  says

three  year  old  Jason.

 

It’s  ok

Ok  I  say.

 

I  want  to  pull  the  battery  from

the  clock

Stopping  time.

I  do.

 

Two  days  later  I

still  have

not  replaced

the  battery,

 

tears  welling

in  the  place

where  minutes

are  lost

and  never

returned.

 

 ~~~

 

IN DIVORCE

 

In  divorce

it  is  well

to  remember

the  texture

of  stones.

 

In  divorce

it  is  well

to  remember

how  as  a

boy

you

walked  by  the  shore

marveling

at

the

jewels

that  shone

from

stones

touched

by

water.

 

In  divorce

it  is  well

to  build

small  temples

with

stones  found

by  the  water

leaving  them

at  the

base  of

dead  tree

roots.

 

In  divorce

it  is  well

to  reach

into

one’s

own  pocket

to  take

the  single

healing

blue  stone

given

by  your

new  lover

 

and  bury

it  by  the  trees

by  the  waves

by  the  great  rocks

and  wish 

for  the

grace

that  God  gives

all  souls

in

time

like

lapping

water

baptizing

new

life.

 

  ~~~

FEEDING YOURSELF

 

Walk  slowly

around

the

aisles

of  a  large

supermarket

dazzled  by  color  and  light.

 
Select  what  you  need

especially

three  varieties

of  herb  teas

from  Celestial  Seasonings

the  Company

that  knows

how  to  get

to  the  other  side

Get

chamomile  to  sleep

ginseng  to  wake

Tension  Tamer  for

Everything  else.

 
Buy  some  eggs.

They  are  easier  to  keep  than  chickens.

 

 
Now

bring  this  food  to

 

the fetching  blond cashier.

Resist the temptation to check her out too.

 
Go home  alone

Start  a  garden

and  grow  the

miraculous  beanstalk

that

Jack

alone

knew.

 
Eat  the  eggs

and

keep  your

beanstalk  growing.

 
Remember
it  takes
time
to  get
the  beans.

 

~~~

 

CEDAR CHAIRS  II

 

Four  cedar  chairs

in old  back  yard.

 

Adirondack   chairs.

 

Five  year  old  son  Jason  takes  me  out

to  play  in  my   old  backyard.

Stacking  chair  upon  chair

to  make  a  house  for  us.

 

Old  cedar  chairs  are  missing.

screws  to  hold  the  arms

on  to  the  body.

 

I  want  to  go  inside  my  old  house

to get

a  screw  driver

but  Jason  is

chasing  me  around  the  chairs.

 

Duck.  Duck.  Goose.

Duck.  Duck.  Goose.

We  run  around  the  chairs

again  and  again

falling  to  the  ground

hugging  each  other  in  this

the

only  hour

we  will  have  together.

 

Duck.  Duck.  Goose.

Cedar  chairs  will  break.

 

Duck.  Duck.  Goose.

Boys  who  run

will

mend.